together: "all things are just"

Lia solo: DUNG! *fist popping in the air*

together: "compared to Him."


I'm going to miss the seniors in our group.

Finals are coming.

Aaron visited today, with Verent, and some other VSET kids. I drank my mango sago (not as yummy as it sounds!!!) while him and Jeff ate lunch. He told me about how Jaeson Ma came to SLO two weeks ago.. and I guess this is how Aaron found out about Edison Chen who has repented and how him and his whole family became Christian after Jaeson Ma felt that he should go speak to Edison after Edison's sex scandal hit him hard and messed up his career.. crazy, right? And then Aaron went to go take a nap at Jeff's and that was the end of our conversation.

praise God.

Other than that, life is kind of slowing as finals approach, although I should get studying. I will, after I write this. It's a little cold out. Life is a bit weird right now. It's the end of the semester.. I don't know what to think of this year.

On the one hand, I feel like this year is a thousand times better than last, but on the other hand, I'm still not satisfied with the way things are, especially in the house. I can say that part of that is my own fault, but I don't think it's just an individual thing where we can all pile some blame on ourselves and think that it's all our own problem. We are all a work in progress, and if we admit that, then what matters is that "we work together with God by a life" and grow in His grace together. The Body needs to be built up in love, right, and is that happening among us? Or are we all just in our little space orbits orbiting around each other and bouncing off each other's shells? (A brother from Texas once came to Fresno and used that analogy.. hehe, pretty funny.) I think I can say this, because I don't think I'm the only one thinking it. And if I am, and people are like.. what's wrong with you Esther, it's just you, then please correct me if I'm wrong. I tend to refrain from speaking because I'm afraid of what people will think, but I think I will be frank for once and if I'm alone in this.. then.. that'll be a clue to me. Well, I guess, I, of all people, need this word to myself the most.

I think it's funny that a lot of times we think we are 'different' in that we think we don't belong, or we wonder why God chose us, but we're really not alone.. I feel this way too sometimes, and whether or not that's normal, I don't know.. but...
How are things going to change? It's true, we can't keep talking about how it would be SO great if things were this way or that way. It would be great, but what are we going to do about it? And yes, there are things to be done.. whether that be praying, or that and something else the Lord leads you to.. I feel like there needs to be that balance. Yes on the one hand we rest in the Lord, but on the other hand, we need to rise up because God does want to accomplish something through us while we are here. We're not just here for ourselves. With that said..

e.g.
Lord Jesus, draw us one step further.
and
Day by day, bit by bit, life will grow as is fit, increasing gradually until, however imperceptibly, Your life increases in me..

Lord grant me a heavenly, corporate view
That all of my growth and prayers to You
Little by little, day by day, would cause building up
Into the New Jerusalem

And this hymn.
Live Thyself Lord Jesus through me
For my very life art Thou
Thee I take to all my problems as the full solution now
Live Thyself Lord Jesus through me
In all things Thy will be done
I but a transparent vessel to make visible the Son