Lord..

grant me a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the full knowledge of You.

so.. this is going to turn out as a ramble. there's so much i don't understand, and coming home, i feel a bit disappointed, annoyed, and just.... short. haha. not literally. well, my grandma thinks i've lost weight but i think i'm about the same. my parents think i gained weight. anyway. what's the deal with college students returning and commenting on looks?
what i meant was...
fallen short [of the glory of God] .. Romans?
Mom: did you repent?
yeah, it's easy to excuse yourself as just being a certain way. actually when she said that, i was like thinking.. i do notttt need a lecture right now. (or do i?) kind of frustrated and don't know how to deal with things properly because it feels like everything is so fragile. It's easier to just turn the other way and jump into the brainless things of this world. I keep thinking that once I know exactly what it is that's wrong I'll be able to fix it.. but obviously that's not the case. The woes of a psycho hypochondriac who analyzes everything. Hoooorahhhh. You know what. I don't like going to the doctor and trying to figure out what's wrong with me. Often times, by the time I get there, I feel fine. Haha. It's ridiculous. And then I go home feeling like.. what was the use of that?! Maybe this, maybe that. Here, take some painkillers. I mean.. is that the best you can do? Painkillers?
You know what I really needed? I really needed to exercise...
hey, that sounds vaguely familiar, doesn't it? ._.

good verse.



You loved me Lord, so very long
And with a love enduring and strong
Although I mocked, and cursed You so long
You waited and prayed for me all along